Dear Myself

Dear Myself

It’s cold over here you know, did you know? It’s cold and I’m scared.

very scared

Somehow I can’t see myself in you anymore, did you know? I could before, my reflection was clear but now it’s not, now it’s clouded, now it’s distorted. It’s not me anymore. And it’s defiantly not you.

Can you remember when the sun came out to play and we would sit out on the porch and watch? Do you remember?

i don’t

Can you remember when we would lay in bad at night and curl into the blankets together? Do you remember?

i don’t

Do you know how warm everything was then? How cozy I felt inside? It was because of you, mostly because of me, but because of you.

Could I tell you one more time why I left? Why you left?

why did you leave?

It was those men. Those women. Those people. All watching. All scornful. All hateful. All cruel. Never understanding. Never seeing but never blind.

i understand

Those people who that couldn’t ignore me but could so gracefully ignore you. It was only when they stopped seeing me and started seeing you that the problems began.

we were the problem

You see, you and I are very different. Very alike but very different. I am cultured, you are not. I am quiet. You are rebellious. The day is mine and the stars shine for you. Oh, how different we could be. If we weren’t so different, you and I, people wouldn’t care. We are though. And unfortunately, this doesn’t go over well with them. They don’t like you. You are not me. This makes them mad. This makes them furious. We are different yet we are the same. They could see this. They could see it like they saw their own lives of misery and just how they couldn’t accept their own woes, they couldn’t accept us. Now as a whole, not as two halves.

why can’t they accept us as different?

Why do I have to leave? Why do you have to leave? Because of them and their unjustified beliefs? It isn’t fair. How could they possibly understand?

they can’t possibly understand

You are my everything.

were my everything

You’ve gone away now. All those drugs and pills they forced down our throats.

down my throat

They say you wont be back. That you left for good. I don’t want to believe them. I can’t believe them.

I believe them

Do you know how cold it is over here? Did I tell you that? Do know how alone I am and how scary I didn’t know it could be?

im so scared
so lonely

When I look in the mirror, I can’t see myself in you anymore. I can still see me. I can still see you. But you… You’re not there.

And neither am I.

im still there