Showing posts with label Lesbian and Gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lesbian and Gay. Show all posts

WHAT REMAINS [WAS BLEIBT] [English version]

WAS BLEIBT What Remanis is not about who died. It's about who stayed to watch. Snow covers everything but not guilt. The coat is the only warm color in a blue world. Keep it minimal. One lie, repeated for two nights, becomes a life.


Shadow Beneath the Streetlamp

The café had fallen quiet when I turned to leave. The night was piercingly cold. Beyond Hamburg’s old Speicherstadt warehouses, wind cut straight to the bone. I drew my black wool coat tight, hands buried deep in pockets, a half-smoked cigarette still caught between my lips. Above, gray clouds churned wild over red-tiled rooftops. Nearly two in the morning.
An uncanny stillness hung over the streets. Only the distant blast of a ferry horn, and ambulance sirens ricocheting through narrow canals. Warehouse walls rose high, hemming in the sky. From Reeperbahn, the weary trundled home. And I — faced a three-hour train ride back to Cuxhaven.
I stood frozen at the canal’s edge when he appeared. Beneath the streetlamp’s glow he stood, wrapped in that sand-brown wool coat — the very one he wore the last night we were together. And there, that smile I knew so well, warm as memory. It could not be him.
“Hello, Alex…”
His voice struck me clear and real. My cigarette slipped, burning my coat; I swatted it away in panic. No phantom this. I heard his voice, saw breath pluming white in the freezing air.
In that instant, I was hurled back three months — to the night I first saw that smile.


That Winter Night at the Station


Snow engulfed Hamburg Central Station. Departure boards flickered erratic. I had missed the last train to Cuxhaven — all because I misread the clock. On the same platform stood a young man, his sand-brown coat slightly too large, a canvas bag of sketches slung over one shoulder. He muttered a quiet curse in German, then turned to me.
“Missed it too?” he asked in English, glancing at my crumpled ticket.
That was Julian. Art student at HafenCity University.
Two hours until the next train. He led me away from the crowded, stuffy waiting hall — to Speicherstadt, to that same small café I had left only hours before. He ordered two hot chocolates, then unwound his scarf and wrapped it round my neck, seeing my thin coat offered no defense against the cold.
“If you still shiver in Hamburg,” he whispered, cold fingers brushing mine on the old wood table, “you have not yet known true chill.” Our first touch — brief, awkward, yet anything but accidental.
That sand-brown coat — the first warmth he ever gave me.


The Promise


Months earlier. Julian’s heating failed. A storm raged. He stayed at my attic apartment. We lay before the fireplace, wrapped in one thin blanket, his shivering form clad only in an oversized white shirt.
“Promise me, Alex…” he breathed, face close to mine. “If ever I vanish — never seek me in canal waters. Look for me at the station. I shall be there, waiting for you to come home.”
I laughed then, pulling the blanket higher. “You are foolish. Am I not always the late one? And you — always exactly on time.”
He smiled — that same smile that would haunt me ever after.
A simple promise. And one I had shattered with my own hands.


The Crime


Three weeks past. We fought — bitterly, in that same attic. He spoke of loneliness, of my absence. Tempers flared. I pushed him, harder than I knew. He reeled backward — his head struck the iron balcony railing with a sickening crack. Blood pooled across floorboards we once shared warmth upon. Panic seized me. I did not check for breath. I dragged him to the dock, bound an anchor to his waist, and slipped him into the canal’s dark embrace. When found, I shall be gone.


The Return


Tonight — drawn back by a gnawing dread I could not master — I stood again at the water’s edge. Never return to the scene of the crime, so the stories say. Yet I had come.
I stripped to my shirt and trousers, flashlight in hand, and waded in. Diving five meters down through murky water — there he lay. His coat lost to the current, but his black shirt and jeans still clung to the anchor I had tied. Hair drifting loose like seaweed.
Relief — dark, guilty — washed over me. My secret held.
I kicked for the surface, gasping, freezing — and saw them. Two police officers waiting on the dock. Beside them stood a man in a sand-brown coat. Same face. Same eyes — yet burning now with quiet, unmasked hatred.
“Lukas,” said the officer, as cold iron clamped around my wrists. “Julian’s twin. From Berlin. He reported his brother missing — told of your quarrel. We have watched this dock two nights. Murderers always return.”
Lukas stepped close. “I hoped — truly hoped — I was wrong.”
Far off, sirens wailed. Drawing nearer.
This time — they were coming for me.

STORY ILLUSTRATION:

















LGBT Pride Month.

Happy Pride!

Kembali pada tahun 2000, Bill Clinton meresmikan Juni “Gay and Lesbian Pride Month” - meskipun sudah dirayakan (tidak secara resmi) selama beberapa dekade sebelumnya. Dan kemudian pada tahun 2009, Barack Obama memperpanjang judul bulan untuk memasukkan transgender dan biseksual. Di Amerika Serikat, Juni sekarang resmi dikenal sebagai nasional "LGBT Pride Month.”
Setiap orang merayakan Pride dengan cara yang berbeda. Ada circuit parties, mega-club nights atau colorful parades. Beberapa dari kita, termasuk saya sendiri, mengambil pendekatan introspektif lebih tenang.Bagi saya, Pride is about letting your flame burn bright. Ini tentang merayakan orientasi seksual dan identitas gender. Merangkul keragaman.


Jadi Happy Pride, kawan!

Am I a lesbian?

At some point every lesbian asks herself the question: Am I a lesbian?

But many heterosexual and bisexual women ask themselves the same question and come away with a different answer. So, how do you know if you are a lesbian or if you're just curious?

If I only had a dollar for every time I've been asked this question, I would be a rich woman today! Struggling with one's sexual attractions is very common and not just with young people. I hear just as often from women who have been married 20 years or more. But at young age, relax and give yourself time to explore your feelings...

I know many of you are looking for cut and dried ways to determine your sexual orientation. Perhaps a quiz you can take. If only it were that easy!! Unfortunately, determining your sexual orientation is not that simple. It is something that will take time and self-reflection to determine. Talking to a therapist or a lesbian coming out group may help.

Some women identify as lesbian after having feelings for one woman. Others wait to label themselves only afters years of attractions and relationships with other women. Some will remain attracted to both men and women and call themselves bisexual.

The important thing to remember is that your sexual orientation is not something you can choose. You can, however, choose to act on it or not. If you are happily married and find yourself attracted to a female friend, it might be quite alarming to discover that you are bisexual. But it does not mean that you need to act on those feelings.

Okay, having said that. How do you know if you are a lesbian or not? Consider the following:
# Are your feelings for women stronger than your feelings for men?
# Do you get more excited about the idea of kissing a man or kissing a woman?
# Who do you see yourself settling down with in the future?
# Are you more physically attracted to men's or women's bodies?
# Who do you fantasize about more, men or women?

Answering these questions may help you figure out what your sexual orientation is. You may be lesbian, bisexual or straight. My best advice to you is to be patient with yourself. Whereas it is empowering to label yourself, the process of being sure is much more important.

Remember whether you are lesbian, straight or bisexual you will be most happy and fulfilled if you live a life true to yourself.

Is being gay or lesbian a choice?

Kebanyakan seorang gay dan lesbian yakin bahwa menjadi lesbian atau gay bukanlah suatu pilihan. Organisasi ilmiah Kebanyakan juga percaya bahwa homoseksualitas bukan pilihan, faktor biologi lah yang memainkan perananan penting. The National Mental Health Association mengatakan, "Sebagian besar peneliti percaya bahwa orientasi seksual adalah suatu yang kompleks, dan faktor biologi. Ini berarti bahwa banyak orang yang dilahirkan dengan orientasi seksual mereka, atau bahwa itu dibentuk pada usia dini. "

Tidak ada yang benar-benar tahu mengapa beberapa orang lesbian atau gay dan yang lain lurus atau biseksual. Tapi apa yang kita tahu adalah bahwa homoseksualitas telah ada sepanjang sejarah.

Tapi Gay Menjadi Pilihan?

Tentu saja mereka yang percaya homoseksualitas adalah dosa mengatakan itu pilihan. Bahkan beberapa lesbian dan gay yakin bahwa menjadi gay adalah pilihan. Namun, kebanyakan percaya bahwa mereka dilahirkan sebagai gay atau lesbian seperti halnya aku.

Yang kita tahu adalah bahwa terapi yang mencoba mengubah seorang gay menjadi lurus memiliki tingkat keberhasilan yang sangat kecil. Kadang-kadang orang mengubah perilaku mereka, tetapi daya tarik masih ada. Seperti halnya bila kita kidal dipaksa untuk menggunakan tangan kanannya. Dia belajar untuk mengubah perilaku, tapi ini tidak mengubah fakta bahwa dia kidal.

Yang paling tepat adalah pilihan bersikap menjadi gay, lesbian, atau biseksual. Kita dapat memilih untuk menyembunyikan orientasi seksual kita, atau bahkan terlibat dalam hubungan heteroseksual, tetapi itu tidak berarti kita tidak lesbian, atau biseksual.

Apa yang kita tahu adalah bahwa orang-orang yang keluar dan menerima orientasi seksual mereka hidup lebih bahagia dan lebih memenuhi kehidupan dari pada mereka yang mencoba menekan perasaan mereka atau menjalani hidup mereka secara sembunyi-sembunyi.

So guys... born lesbian or gay, follow the ray. born straight refuse to hate... then we can live in peace and harmony....

We do what we do, and I do what I do

In some ways, it feels like we’ve all come so far. Some countries and states allow for marriage equality, more and more nondiscrimination policies include sexual orientation and gender identity, and an increasing number of LGBT individuals are letting their flames burn bright openly.

We do what we do, and I do what I do, to make this world a more loving and inclusive place. We do it all so crap like discrimination doesn’t happen.

The trajectory of progress must bend faster and harder in the favor of love and equality. And all of us need to step up to the plate.

The different Labels of Lesbian

The following is an extensive guide to the different Labels a Lesbian may have. In my experience, I have come across many Lesbians who just thought they were a Lesbian. If you are a Lesbian and questioning what type of Lesbian you are, then this guide is for you!

Lesbian
Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an adjective, to describe characteristics of an object or activity related to female same-sex desire.

Alternate Definition: A woman who loves or is sexually attracted to women. I read through other descriptions of lesbian and some people who made definitions on this word are just plain retarded.

1. There is NO good or bad type of lesbian. It doesnt matter if they are ugly or pretty. They are people. Just like you get ugly and pretty straight people. You don't group them into 'good and bad groups' do you?

2. Lesbians aren't all man haters. Yes a few are. But then again some (I'm not saying all) straight men are sexist towards women and treat them as objects. So you can't say that lesbians are all sexist when plenty of straight people are.

3. YOU AREN'T GOING TO TURN A LESBIAN STRAIGHT BY HAVING SEX WITH THEM. OMG…. That's just plain stupid. Some guys that have their heads up their asses seem to think that lesbians are women you haven't ever had sex with a man before. Or that being homosexual is just a mental illness or something that can only be cured with sex with a guy. If she's a lesbian then she's not going to appreciate you trying to f***k her. You'll probably just get slapped.

Dyke
Another word for lesbian. Usually is only used by people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans. A straight person using this word may offend some people.

Alternate Definition: Although originally a derogatory term for lesbians, it is now often used with pride by lesbians themselves, especially the younger and hipper lesbian crowd. Some lesbians (especially older or super-sensitive ones) still object to the term, but it is becoming increasingly common and mainsteam (at least within the gay community), with events such as "Dyke Nights" or "Dyke Marches" being held around the country. In fact some dykes resent being called a lesbian, as they feel it is much less cool than being called a dyke.
*Note: Dyke with a "y" is a lesbian. Dike with an "i" is for damming water.

Gold Star Lesbian
A gold star lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man and has no intention of ever sleeping with a man.

Lone Star Lesbian
A Lone Star Lesbian is not a lesbian from Texas. A Lone Star Lesbian is someone who has only had sex with one person in their life. Straight and bisexual people can be Lone Stars too.

Lipstick Lesbian
A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the femmy side. Also known as Femme or Fem.

Alternate Definition: A feminine lesbian. It can be used interchangably with femme to indicate a feminine lesbian, but strictly speaking, a femme is usually attracted to masculine, or butch, lesbians and a lipstick lesbian is attracted to other feminine lesbians.

Often thought of as demure, submissive creatures, many, if not all femmes and lipstick lesbians are quite strong, independant women.


Chapstick Lesbian
A chapstick lesbian is also known as a soft butch or androgynous. She usually dresses quite casually and does not wear make-up. The term Chapstick Lesbian was popularized after an episode of the TV show Ellen. Someone asked Ellen if she were a lipstick lesbian or what. Ellen replied, she was more of a chapstick lesbian.

Alternate Definition: A female homosexual whose gender identity is slightly to the femme side of neutral on the femme-butch continuum of gender presentation but whose appearance and preferences stop short of those of a "lipstick lesbian."

Femme
A feminine lesbian. Also known as a Lipstick Lesbian. Sometimes spelled Fem.

Alternate Definition: A (traditionally) feminine woman. Mainly used to refer to a feminine lesbian, and especially a feminine lesbian who is attracted to masculine, or butch lesbians.

Often thought of as passive, dulcet, timid little things with long locks of hair; prissy dresses; great big fawn eyes; a high, baby-doll voice; the courage of a lamb and the intelligence of a gardenia. But we're all human, so don't expect that stereotype of finding every femme to be submissive, faint-hearted little fairies. Plenty of femmes kick butt and are even the dominant over their butch partners.

Blue Jeans Femme
A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme, or feminine, but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts.

Butch
A woman who adopts what would be considered masculine characteristics.

Alternate Definition: A (traditionally) masculine man or woman, and especially a masculine lesbian. Often the "dominant" partner in a lesbian relationship, and especially of a butch/femme lesbian relationship.

Dressing masculinely does not make a woman into a lesbian, contrary to popular belief; it's usually more convenient. Acting masculinely only means that's the gender role that the person identifies with; it has nothing to do with their sexual life. A highly masculine man could be gay for all we know and a very feminine man could be straight for all we know, and both of these cases are frequent.

Stone Butch
A stone butch is a lesbian who gets her pleasure from pleasing her partner. She does not like to be touched sexually.

Alternate Definition: Most masculine of the Butches - may pass as male without actually trying. May identify as transgender, that is identifying outside of the gender usually associated with females. Does all or most of the above in masculine gender expressions. May or may not be sexually aggressive. Will not be made love to as one would a "woman". Will have questioned their gender at some time in their lives. Will not be totally comfortable with their female body. May think of Butch as a separate gender from man & woman.


Pillow Queen
A Pillow Queen is someone who likes to be on the receiving end of sex. She likes to be pleasured and not reciprocate.

Soft Butch
A soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance is generally androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.

Stem
A stem is a lesbian who identifies somewhere between "stud" and "femme". Also known as Kiki.

Kiki
Kiki is a term that was used in the lesbian bar culture of the 1950s and 1960s to describe someone who was neither butch nor femme. At that time, the bar culture was very much into roles and most women were pressured to choose either butch or femme.

Futch
Dani Campbell, a lesbian firefighter from Florida who was one of the contestants on MTV's Shot at Love with Tila Tequila coined the word "Futch." She says the word describes someone who is neither feminine nor butch, but a cross between.
Alternate Definition: A lesbian, dyke or other variety of queer woman who possesses or displays qualities and identifiers of both butch and femme. (noun)
Futch (adjective) describes:
a) a non-standard display of female masculinity, which contains elements of the feminine (such as clothing, walk, cosmetics, shoes).
b) a non-standard display of queer femininity, containing elements of the masculine (such as clothing, walk, cosmetics, shoes).

If butch/femme is a spectrum, a futch may be found at any or all of the points in between.

A futch presentation may occasionally be ephemeral, caused by the migration of an woman's queer self-identity, but is much more likely to be ongoing and deliberate; reflecting an individual's own position of comfort on the queer gender presentation scale.

Tila Tequila's date, Dani Campbell, a lesbian firefighter from Florida, claims she invented the word "futch" to describe herself as being part butch, part femme. However, a spot of research will reveal that the word has been in moderate usage in the dyke community since at least 1990. Dani would have had to be a very inventive little futch at 11 to be the word's progenitor.

Sometimes futch sighting is a false positive, as in the case of many rural women who make the gaydar spang wildly, but who are merely hetero women who portray common lesbian markers, such as speaking firmly, gesturing strongly, taking no nonsense, and using no botox. While wearing boots.

Boi
For lesbians, a boi is a woman who is biologically female, but has a boyish appearance or presentation. A boi may be lesbian identified or s/he may be trans identified. For gay men a boi is a gay man who is boyish or young in appearance or identity.

Alternate Definition: This spelling of the word originated in a gay magazine called, "XY" in the early to mid 1990's. XY is targeted at gay male teenagers. This spelling describes a youthful, hip, and attractive male. While completely embraced in the gay community to mean any young, sexually attractive male, this spelling also appears in heterosexual contexts to mean similarly, a young, handsome guy.

However, now A boi is a lesbian or gender-queer person who identifies most with their male energy and presents themselves as male in their appearance. They may consider themselves to be of either gender although they are anatomically female.

Power Dyke
A Power Dyke is a lesbian who has gained a position of power, either within the LGBT community, or in the world at large. She could be the head of a non-profit agency, a politician or successful in business. Also known as Power Lesbian or a Suit.

Diesel Dyke
A Diesel Dyke is a very butch or manly lesbian, especially one who is very aggressive. In some lesbian circles Diesel Dyke refers to a very butch Big-Rig (or other heavy equipment) driving lesbian. Also known as Bulldagger.

Alternate Definition: A lady (often quite large,) that prefers the (very) close company of other ladies, known as femmes. Regularly seen wearing a lumberjack shirt, boots and dungarees/bib & braces overalls.

Origin: Due to the normal extreme mass of these 'ladies,' it has often been assumed that locomotion could only be facilitated with the assistance of a powerful Diesel engine

Sport Dyke
A sport dyke is a lesbian, who more than anything, identifies with being an athlete. She may also dress in a manner that would give the impression she is an athlete, like baseball caps, sweatshirts and jeans.

Baby Dyke
A young lesbian or someone who is just coming out of the closet. Also know as Dyke in Training. Common Misspellings include: baby dike.

Stud
A dominant lesbian, usually butch, often African American.

Hasbian
A hasbian is a woman who used to identify as a lesbian and date women, but is now dating men.

Alternate Definition: A term meaning a lesbian who now partakes in heterosexual activities. However, it does not mean that a woman has CHANGED her sexual orientation, that is something which does not change. She may however have changed her sexual behavior or identity. The woman may truly be straight and have previously been questioning, or the woman may have been a lesbian who has retreated into the closet, or the woman may be bisexual, omnisexual or something else of that nature but by no means can a person change their orientation.

LUG
LUG stands for "Lesbian until Graduation". A LUG is a woman who experiments with women during her college years, but eventually decides she is straight and marries a man.

Alternate Definition: Someone who for whatever personal/logistical reasons decides to be a lesbian until graduation. The seriousness of this can range from officially identifying as a lesbian (possibly accompanied by an elaborate coming out process) to avoidance of the offical term and simply fucking around with girls. Rather like cinderella after midnight, these are the girls who revert back to the male half of the species after leaving the college bubble. A very common occurance at women's colleges. Also has a counter-part in the term bi until graduation (BUG). Most frequently used on womens college's campuses, the term may also be used as an insult or warning and is oftentimes by other women who have more romantic or sexual experience with other women (AKA lesbians/bi chicks who have come to terms with their sexuality earlier on and are talking about the chicks who're just now starting to explore).

Drag King
A drag king is a woman who dresses to look like a man, usually for performance. Drag kings are often lesbian, but not always.

Alternate Definition: A woman who, generally for public entertainment, dons men's clothes and adopts a stereotypically masculine demeanor while on stage. As with drag queens, a drag king's performance can range from a silly, overdone parody to a more natural, subtle depiction of masculinity.

Bisexual
A person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to both women and men.

Alternate Definition: To be bisexual is to be attracted to a person regardless or gender or sex. It does not mean that you cannot make up your mind, it does not mean you are sex-crazed, and it does not mean that you will by default participate in orgies every night.

Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to #TheLesbianClub.

Pansexual
A pansexual is someone who is attracted people of many genders. Also known as Omnisexual.

Alternate Definition: A pansexual is someone who isn't influenced by the binaries and labels surrounding gender and sexuality. This can mean attraction to anyone regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. Some pansexuals take it a step further to be openly against those labels and definitions, considering them to be destructive and alienating.

Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to #TheLesbianClub.

Lesbophile
A lesbophile is someone who loves or appreciates lesbians. This is considered Lesbian Slang.

Gayelle
Gayelle is a new word that some women are trying to get to replace the word "lesbian" in the English language. According to gayelle.org, the word lesbian is antiquated and not cheerful or fun. So, they want to create a new word that they feel better fits their perception of themselves. Only time will tell if this new word takes off.

Although this is not a Label for Lesbians, I felt it was important to include this.

I sincerely hope that this was of help to some people, and that it is fairly accurate.

Remember, stay proud!

IT'S JUST A COFFEE SHOP Chp. 3

I stare at the mirror taped to my bedroom door. Fairy lights on. Bed unmade. Hoodie Elian would wear white. Safe. Invisible. But tonight is ...