I had a conversation tonight that got me thinking about emotions and responsibility…I think that we sometimes give other people too much power when it comes to the way that we feel. In truth, only we can make ourselves feel any certain way. Thus, we should avoid words that victimize ourselves. We can not feel rejected, betrayed, misunderstood, manipulated, etc., because that emotion doesn’t arise from you but rather from your response to someone else. When you use these words, you are giving other people power over your emotions. According to Deepak, you’ll attract people into your life that evoke these feelings–creating a vicious cycle.
You can, however, feel many other things–such as happy, or calm, or lonely… even jealous. You can genuinely feel lonely without another person making you feel that way. So, take responsibility for your emotions because it is very difficult to be happy without owning your emotions.
Ask yourself, “What do I need in this situation?” If your needs were being met, you wouldn’t be reacting so strongly. If you are feeling lonely, it is easy to take ownership of this feeling, and realize that you need love. It is difficult to ask for love from another person, but you can ultimately get it. Perhaps you will invite a friend out for coffee, or you will call a family member. This response is much different than feeling rejected–reducing yourself to a victim in some cruel game–and wallowing in your own self pity.
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