Monday, November 29, 2010

Am I a lesbian?

At some point every lesbian asks herself the question: Am I a lesbian?

But many heterosexual and bisexual women ask themselves the same question and come away with a different answer. So, how do you know if you are a lesbian or if you're just curious?

If I only had a dollar for every time I've been asked this question, I would be a rich woman today! Struggling with one's sexual attractions is very common and not just with young people. I hear just as often from women who have been married 20 years or more. But at young age, relax and give yourself time to explore your feelings...

I know many of you are looking for cut and dried ways to determine your sexual orientation. Perhaps a quiz you can take. If only it were that easy!! Unfortunately, determining your sexual orientation is not that simple. It is something that will take time and self-reflection to determine. Talking to a therapist or a lesbian coming out group may help.

Some women identify as lesbian after having feelings for one woman. Others wait to label themselves only afters years of attractions and relationships with other women. Some will remain attracted to both men and women and call themselves bisexual.

The important thing to remember is that your sexual orientation is not something you can choose. You can, however, choose to act on it or not. If you are happily married and find yourself attracted to a female friend, it might be quite alarming to discover that you are bisexual. But it does not mean that you need to act on those feelings.

Okay, having said that. How do you know if you are a lesbian or not? Consider the following:
# Are your feelings for women stronger than your feelings for men?
# Do you get more excited about the idea of kissing a man or kissing a woman?
# Who do you see yourself settling down with in the future?
# Are you more physically attracted to men's or women's bodies?
# Who do you fantasize about more, men or women?

Answering these questions may help you figure out what your sexual orientation is. You may be lesbian, bisexual or straight. My best advice to you is to be patient with yourself. Whereas it is empowering to label yourself, the process of being sure is much more important.

Remember whether you are lesbian, straight or bisexual you will be most happy and fulfilled if you live a life true to yourself.

10 comments:

Ntan said...

I love both..

Tp kl aq lebih bahagia berhubungan dgn gf ku,, dr pd mantan2 ku yg cowo.

Aq dh pernah cb jalanin kedua nya...

Ntan

floo said...

Ntaaannn : well setiap orang berbeda2 kali yaa...

well we all love women... right...?

The Insider said...

@ floo : right..

Anonymous said...

i always prefer woman than man.
my chemistry w/ woman is more than awesum.
i am adoring and worshiping woman for theirs beautifulness, compassions and theirs secret :)
woman is sexy when they misterius :)

Rana

floo said...

@Muliani : :D

@Rana : Yap... mysterious woman always has a special appeal...

^_^

Anonymous said...

hi, i just read your blog
so, nice to know u

i like ur end quote "you will be most happy and fulfilled if you live a life true to yourself".


okta

ysw said...

nice :) klo pendapat subjektifku, semua orang pada dasarnya sudah punya "kecenderungan" keluar dari area seimbangnya.
maksudnya, kenyamanan terhadap sesama jenis.
keyakinanku pribadi, rasa sayang dan nyaman pada manusia dengan lebel kelamin yg sama dengan kita adalah modal awal sebuah persahabatan.
tinggal nanti kembali di kitanya mengontrol takarannya :)
kalo transgender,itu semua kembali pada masalah kebutuhan dalam diri.
dan karena itu pilihan hidup,maka semestinya dihormati selayaknya pilihan2 hidup yg lain :)
maap jadi panjang :))

floo said...

Ysw....
thanks udah mampir yaaaa....
Semua kembali ke diri masing2 kaaannn... kita hanya perlu saling menghargai pilihan setiap orang saja...

floo said...

ysw....

Saya mau koment di tempatmu kok gk bisa yaaa..... :(

floo said...

Btw... saya mo link blognya di sini boleh?

Given

I thought that love would be softer, sweeter and kinder. I found out with my first love that those thoughts were just a happy delusion. Fall...